You finish camp or any other event running for several days. You were on the go every day from 6.30am, apart from the time when the guy's insulin alarm went off at 4.30am and you had to get up to see he was OK... And there was the time someone was sick at 1.30am because they'd had a midnight feast and you were woken up, not by the child, but by the leader who was woken up by the child who was sick, because they couldn't find the cleaning cupboard. You've not been in bed before 12.30 any night. On top of that, you've carried the weight of spiritual and emotional concern all week which meant even when you did get to bed, it took a bit of time to drop off. If you were to add it up, you've worked over 9o hours in the last week. Now you're back and it's starting to hit you.
You wonder how much time off you should take to recover...
It's important to rest
God rested on the seventh day of Creation. Jesus had times of rest:
The apostles gathered around Jesus and reported to him all they had done and taught. Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” So they went away by themselves in a boat to a solitary place. Mark 6.30-32
Jesus did it. Jesus told his disciples to do it. It would be naive to think that we don't also need rest. Sometimes we might feel we have to justify our existence, and it's hard to say no so we just keep working. You and I both need to try to resist that temptation.
Plan your rest before you go It's quite late to be thinking about it after you come back! If I'm taking young people away for a weekend, my day off is normally Friday but I can't have Friday as my day off. But neither can I have Thursday. If I try to take Thursday, I'll realise I've still got too much to do, so I won't take it - it's too close. Instead, I take Wednesday off beforehand. Then if there's still stuff to do, I've got all of Thursday, as well as a bit of Friday. Afterwards, I'll probably take Tuesday as my day off. I arrange these days before I go on the camp.
You may not get 1:1 time off for the extra hours you worked on camp. Sorry, but that's the way it is. For a five-day camp, I'd probably take an extra two days off. For a weekend, I'd take an extra day off.
Think about the wider church's needs. Think clear up. If I get back on a Friday, I don't want the caretaker/Senior Pastor to think the church has been burgled on Sunday morning when she opens up for church, with Bibles, bunting and bass guitar strewn about. I want to leave the main church so it's ready for the next service, the other rooms clear for whatever activity is next and even the store cupboard accessible. That's hard, especially when you're tired, but use what you've got to avoid doing all the clear up yourself. If I do it all myself, I'm going to get bitter and resentful, because I'M TIRED! So, on the leadership team's schedule for the week, I include an hour of tidy up after we get back to church. If you're really organised, get a small team to help you, maybe even a few young people who were on the camp and their parents. They want to get home too, so they'll be quick. Your role at that time? To unlock anything that needs unlocking and then to just stand at the entrance to church and tell people where to put things. Don't try to put anything away yourself. You'll slow the whole thing down. I aim to have everything put back where it came from, EXCEPT mixed boxes that need breaking down into constituent parts, like stationery and craft which have come back in the same box. Those I'll put somewhere they won't get in the way, and I'll put those away when I get back after time off.
Be realistic I wouldn't want to be preaching two days after I get back from camp. I'll want to minimise those other responsibilities as much as possible. But, if I'm the only one who can drive the minibus or hire van and it needs to be dropped back on Monday morning at 8.30, rather than the unearthly time on Sunday night we get back, or I need to submit numerous safeguarding reports, or I'm expected at staff meeting, then there's no point me taking a day off the next day. In our situation, if I'm on a weekend camp and staff meeting is on Monday morning, I'll drop the van back, go to staff meeting, have a light afternoon, then probably take all of Tuesday off. If I can't stand up, I won't go to staff meeting.
Don't be a martyr You are not Jesus (who by the way, still needed downtime and time with his Father). Don't try to be. If you're the Senior Leader on a camp, find time to be with Jesus each day, just you and Him, not to prep your Bible study for later. Try to write yourself out of the programme too. On our Week Away, I'll sometimes not turn up to a team challenge or will arrive late for it. First of all, I trust the team. I show that by not having to be the person who rounds people up, who gets them to sit and listen to the person who's leading it. If I'm super organised, I'll remember to tell the leader I won't be there, but I hope they get it anyway. Secondly, at those times, I sit down and have a cup of tea (coffee or hot chocolate may also be appropriate) on my own, sometimes trying to hold back the tired tears. Soon, I will be back into the fray, and I know that I could be on the phone to a parent for an hour later on in the day, so I need to conserve my energy. Sometimes I want to play football, and that would be great, but I might be better to force myself not to and lie down instead for an hour. It's easier for a youth leader like myself who's been in youth ministry for 30 years to say, 'You don't need to prove yourself.' I understand that. But when you get back, try not to just throw yourself back into things. Honestly, you've done enough.
Build a good team on the camp and then delegate. Think particularly about senior leaders. Who do people go to for a decision if you're not there (or even if you are)?! I'll try to let people know three or four other people they can go to. If you're in a smaller team, try to have a deputy. Don't end up in a position where people are coming to you for everything. I say to all of our leaders before we even depart, 'I trust you. That is why you are a leader here. I think you are a leader. Please then, lead. Otherwise I will be dead on day 2 and you will not grow into the gifts God has given you.' I find giving them permission to lead really helps with the whole camp. We also take a male and female (normally married, but they don't have to be), who are normally older, to be our Leader Pastors (or Camp Mum and Dad). Their job is to support our leaders. They lead devotions each morning for us and come alongside us at various times during the day. Their job is not to support the young people but to support the leaders. There is a danger that I end up making sure the programme runs on time and general firefighting, and don't support the leaders as much as I should. This couple fill that gap. As time has gone on, I've realised more and more their importance. Every day, they will look each leader in the eyes and say, 'How are you? What can we be praying for?' And they regularly put a cup of tea in my hand without me even asking. Gold dust.
Help your senior staff understand what it's like Senior staff often don't get it, even if they've led whole-church residentials. Many of them will never have served in youth ministry, and some of them probably appointed you to the role, so they didn't have to think about it, but it's important for you to try and help them to understand. Explain (gently) what it looks like to be the overall leader of a camp and the pressures that only you bear. Invite them to the camp for a day (or more) and not just to be the speaker. Get them into small groups, carrying some of the burden of trying to get a group of 11-year-olds to listen. If your Senior Pastor says he or she will come for the day, encourage them to come for a literal 24 hours. Them arriving after breakfast and leaving after dinner is better than nothing, but isn't enough. You want them to know what it's like to be woken up by a guy screaming while riding a mattress down the stairs, then to be the second adult taking that still screaming guy to hospital, before waiting in Accident & Emergency for three hours to be seen and then to get up having slept for three hours and still be expected to have a smile on their face. Have you ever asked a person who attended as a youth to join the leadership team? All of them without exception say at some point during the camp, 'I had no idea!' Then they invariably say, 'We must have driven you mad!' Of course you say they didn't, though they probably did! They have now realised how much earlier you got up than them, how much later you went to bed and how much harder you worked to bless them than they ever knew. They realise the emotional and physical cost of leadership. Their eyes are opened. You want your senior staff to realise that too.
If other church staff or parents think you should just keep going... You can come back and keep going as if nothing has happened, but only for a short time. If you're faithful and gifted, the church should really want you to be able to keep going for year after year after year of camp or VBS, through hundreds of stories of life change. I certainly want you to keep going till you drop of old age, not of exhaustion. That's why I wrote my manual of youth ministry: Raising the Bar - Nearly Everything you Need to Know about Christian Youth Ministry. You can find out more about the book here. Don't throw 30 years of youth ministry away to keep anyone (even your Senior Pastor) happy in the short term. God needs and the young people deserve faithful, hard-working and experienced youth pastors.
What does good rest look like?
I'm still learning this. Checking your emails is not good rest. But neither is lying in front of the couch drinking beer, watching Netflix (other streaming services are available) and eating junk food all day, because you deserve it.
Instead, spend time with Jesus. Give thanks. Remember it is Him who has been at work. By his grace, you got to be involved with the gifts and passion He gave you. That is a huge privilege, even if you come back thinking, 'Was it worth it?' Spoiler alert: Yes, it was!
Sleep.
Then do whatever restores you, but which probably includes exercise, good food and time with family / friends, but may include playing music or sport or reading or whatever. I'm not saying you can't drink beer, eat pizza and watch a movie, but a day of that is probably not what's best to restore you after you've given out loads, tempting though it is. Remember who else is still at work:
"Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." 1 Peter 5.8 Sleep some more.
10. Don't make hasty decisions after a busy time You are tired. You are physically, emotionally, mentally, socially and spiritually spent. You burst into tears because your credit card didn't work at the service station on the way home where you tried to buy a chocolate bar as a little reward for your service over the last week. Now is not the time to write a letter of resignation to the church feeling unappreciated. God sees you (Genesis 16.13). He's seen what you've done. He knows how you feel. Rest now and you will feel better.
* If you've read this and you're a volunteer youth leader, and you've been on a camp or VBS and you don't get to choose, you've GOT to go straight back to work, can I just say, 'Thank you'. I don't know how you do it. What can you do? Rest as much as you can. Again, God sees you. Well done.
Additional photos (from top) by: Ketut Subiyanto on Pexels; mac231 on Pixabay.
If you want to think more about this, read the chapter 'Residentials' in my book, 'Raising the Bar: Nearly Everything You Need to Know about Christian Youth Ministry' which you can buy here. In it, you'll find other ideas about how to keep going in youth ministry for the long-haul. You can find out what other youth leaders think about the book and read a couple of free chapters.
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